Total D*ck (Bad Bitch #3) Read online

  “They can’t just walk away.” She shot an acid stare at Eric and Frank.

  “That’s part of the deal. They don’t want to have to go through two trials before landing in a penitentiary. This is the first trial, federal charges only. They still have to go through a state trial and a state sentencing on the murder and other charges.”

  “I know.” Charlotte rolled her wrist in a “speed it up” motion.

  Lincoln glowered but continued. “They want to avoid a Louisiana state prison and the possibility of the death sentence. They came to me, offering to take twenty years apiece.”

  Charlotte. “They can’t—”

  He held up his hand. “Hear me out. That’s what they wanted. I countered with life sentences, no chance for parole, in medium-security facilities.”

  Charlotte tilted her head. “Medium? Why not low? I thought this sort of white-collar shit got minimum-security prison time.”

  Lincoln narrowed his eyes at her. His stare was like a lead weight, suffocating and unyielding. “Because if I were to put them in minimum security, something tells me they would make it maybe a year at most on the inside before someone put a well-placed knife between their ribs.”

  “Why, whatever would give you that idea?” Charlotte simpered in her best imitation southern accent.

  Kennedy and I exchanged a look, and he pulled me tighter into his side and away from Charlotte.

  “I think you know. And I think this is the best way to keep you out of trouble. There’s no guarantee they’d be convicted in state court, especially since the main victim was a world away. And, with this deal, we get them where we want them—behind bars for the rest of their lives. You get what you want, too—ridiculous payday and amnesty for all members of Discord.”

  Charlotte pinched her lips together and remained silent for several moments. She looked to Carey.

  “Take it. Put them away, and move on,” he said.

  She sighed. “Fine. If they’ll take that deal, we’ll be satisfied. But nothing less. Understand?” She pointed a finger at Lincoln’s face.

  Lincoln cocked his head. “You know you’re about as physically threatening as a whippet, right?”

  “Looks can be deceiving.” I would never forget her metal knuckles with the spiders on them.

  Charlotte smirked. “Listen to Scarlett. She has more sense than the two of you put together.”

  “I can’t argue with that. But as for this case, the ball’s in their court. If they don’t take the deal, we’ll start the defense phase when the judge takes the bench.”

  “I’d love to sit second chair on this. Go all ‘I am the law’ on somebody.” Kennedy grinned at his big brother.

  “You know Mom and Dad wanted a girl, right? That’s why they went for three.” A small smile creased the corners of his lips.

  Kennedy smirked. “Dick.”

  “I believe that’s your claim to fame, not mine.”

  “Did you just admit to these two lovely ladies that mine’s bigger than yours?” Kennedy puffed out his chest. “I’m glad you’ve finally set the record straight.”

  I covered my face with my hands as Carey snickered.

  Lincoln stepped toward Kennedy. “We may be in a courthouse, but I am more than happy to stomp a mudhole in your— Aw, shit. Looks like they want to talk again.” Lincoln walked away and engaged in another conference, this one briefer than the last. On his way back, he pointed to the hallway.

  We shuffled out the double doors and stood in the marble rotunda beneath the statue of Justice balancing the scales.

  “They’re taking the deal.”

  “Life, no parole. Right?” Charlotte asked.

  “That’s right.” He pulled out his cell phone and began texting at lightning speed. “I’m having my assistant type up the particulars for the plea. She’ll bring me the agreement, we’ll have them sign, and then take it to the judge. This deal will be sealed within the hour.” He paused his texting. “You’re free to go.”

  Charlotte shook her head in amazement. “So, that’s it?”

  “That’s it.”

  She turned to me and gave me a hug, the tips of her spiky hair tickling my nose. “If you ever want to switch teams, you know where to find me,” she whispered.

  I patted her back awkwardly before she let me go. Then she shook Kennedy’s hand.

  “I’ll report this to the crew. They’ll be pleased. Now, which prison will the judge send them to?” she asked.

  Lincoln pointed to the stairs. “Go. Meet me at the office in the morning to get your paperwork signed on the whistle-blower money. But if I hear so much as a whisper of you hacking again or doing anything to retaliate against Rhone, we’ll be on opposite sides of the courtroom, and I can guarantee you there will be prison time in it for you.”

  “Chill. I’m good. We’re good.” Charlotte rolled her shoulders and shot me a wink before hitting the stairs.

  “Did she ask you to be her girlfriend?” Kennedy raised his eyebrows.

  “Maybe.” I batted my eyelashes.

  “Are you considering it?”

  “Every lady has her secrets.”

  “You are headed for a spanking.” He pulled me closer and bit my neck.

  “Cut it out, you two.” Lincoln pocketed his phone, and Carey rolled his eyes.

  Kennedy gave me one more nibble and turned to his brother. “Cock block. Hey, now that the hard part’s over, let’s talk about the lingerie you plan to wear on the wedding night. Maybe something to lift and separate here.” Kennedy ran his hands along his brother’s chest before Lincoln slapped them away.

  “Jesus, I can’t take you anywhere.” Lincoln laughed.

  Their antics always turned me into a teenage girl, giggling into my palm and sometimes laughing so hard, I cried. Even the middle brother, Wash, would join in sometimes despite his reputation for being a hard-ass.

  “Ooh.” Kennedy tapped his index finger on his chin. “So definitely a corset? I like it. Daring but also somehow demure.”

  “Shut up and get out of here. I’ll see you bright and early Saturday morning.” Lincoln flipped him off and pushed through the courtroom doors, calling over his shoulder, “Good to see you, Scarlett.”

  “Well, fuckity fuck fuck.” Evan plopped onto the bench in the bride’s room at Lynch Lane. Her gown, open at the back and skirting across her collarbones in the front, was a dream of white lace.

  “Lie back.” I stood and pushed at her shoulder.

  “What, why?”

  “Because you’ll wrinkle it at your stomach if you don’t. Either stand or lie down, but you can’t sit.”

  “Is this what you learn at debutante balls and all that?” Evan lay back.

  “Careful with the hair! Hang your head off the side.” I made sure her red curls cascaded without being crushed. My mother had taught me well, and though I didn’t exactly adhere to her standards on a daily basis, keeping a bride fresh and unwrinkled definitely called for all the tricks of the trade.

  “This is fucking awkward.” She frowned and tried to sit up again.

  I took her hand and pulled her to her feet.

  “On your feet or on your back.”

  A snort sounded from the bathroom and Caroline walked out. “That’s what Wash said to me last night. What are you mad about, anyway?”

  “I just realized I forgot the something blue. I’m supposed to have blue, right? I have something old.” She touched the antique diamond tiara atop her head. “And something new, my dress, but nothing blue.” She paced around, the hardwood floor creaking under her heels.

  “Oh, that’s easy.” Caroline walked to the door, opened it, and yelled down the hall for Terrell.

  He appeared in moments, a cross look on his handsome face. He wore a simple black suit with a white dress shirt open at the collar. Posh, but not too stuffy. “Why are you yelling like a banshee at my mom’s house? She already hates that I go slumming it with you.”

  “Oh, shut up.” She kissed hi
m on the cheek. “I need a favor. We need something blue.”

  “Anything blue will do?”

  “As long as it’s not one of those test tubes from a goddamn maxi pad commercial, we’re good.” Evan threw her hands up and kept pacing.

  Clinton passed by and smiled. He, Clarence, and Shorty were serving as ushers for the event.

  Terrell grinned, his brown eyes warming. “I’ll be right back. I know just the thing.”

  I closed the door and smoothed down my lavender bridesmaid dress. Caroline and I matched, but it wasn’t the worst bridesmaid dress I’d ever worn.

  “Is it two million degrees in here?” Evan snatched up a program and began fanning herself.

  “You need to take it down a notch.” Caroline sat on the ornately carved four-poster bed.

  “Why does she get to sit?” Evan pointed at Caroline.

  “Our dresses don’t wrinkle. Besides, you’re the star of the show. You need to be flawless.” I picked up a program and began fanning her. At least my efforts made her stand still.

  A knock at the door and Terrell slipped through. He had a blue ring in the palm of his hand, but it was too big to be for a finger. My eyes grew wide as I began to suspect what it was.

  “What’s that?” Caroline walked over and examined it. “Wait.” She tucked a blond tendril of hair behind her ear and bent closer. “Is that what I think it is?”

  “Indeed. Here you are, madam. Something blue.” He bowed and held his hand out to Evan.

  She plucked it from his palm. “Why do I think this is a cock ring?”

  “Because it is.” He shrugged and utterly failed to hide his smug smile. “I have a few things stashed in my old room. This is just one.”

  “That’s um, well. It’s unique?” I hadn’t intended it as a question, but that’s what it was. I didn’t know if I should laugh or be outraged, though I preferred the former. It was Evan’s day, so I let her decide how to play it.

  Evan stepped to Terrell so they were almost nose to nose. “Are you saying you want me to walk down the aisle on my goddamn wedding day with a cock ring stashed in my dress?”

  “You said anything would do. And I’m sure putting it in your bouquet would suffice for tradition.” Terrell didn’t back down.

  Evan arched an eyebrow and then belted out a laugh. “You’re on, motherfucker.” She snatched her bouquet of white calla lilies and yellow roses, flipped it around, and slid the cock ring up some of the stems until it was on tight.

  “You are unbelievable.” Caroline poked Terrell in the ribs and shooed him out the door.

  “Hey, is Scarlett in there?” Kennedy spoke in the hallway.

  “Caroline, too?” Wash’s deeper voice carried, and Caroline perked up.

  “Evan?” I raised my eyebrows, begging permission.

  “Go, go. I need to get my balls hanging straight anyway. It’s an alone-time task.” She waved us out the door and into the hall.

  Wash grabbed Caroline by the waist and, despite her startled cry, whipped her into a bedroom across the hall.

  Kennedy looked me up and down, his brown eyes sparkling.

  “Kennedy.” I meant to use a warning tone, but it came out in more of a sex whisper.

  He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back against the wall. “You look good enough to eat.”

  I ran my hands down the silky lapel of his tux. “So do you.”

  “I just had to see you. Wash and I were talking after he and Lincoln had their big ‘I love you’ sesh—” He faked a gagging sound.

  “Wait, they made up? Like, bygones are bygones over that whole episode with that girl when they were kids?” I smiled, happiness spreading in my chest at the news.

  “Yeah, it was pretty gross. Hugging and stuff.” He trailed his fingers down my neck. “But let’s talk about more important things, like whether or not you’re wearing panties.”

  “I’m a southern lady.” I darted my tongue out and licked along his lower lip.

  A low moan rang out from the bedroom Wash and Caroline had claimed.

  Kennedy glanced over his shoulder. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

  “You’re not known as the particularly smart brother.”

  “Is that so?”

  I nodded. “I think your talents lie elsewhere.” My gaze flickered to his lips.

  He moved his hands lower, balling my skirt in his fists. “If I kiss you, will it mess up your lipstick?” He grazed his lips over me.

  “Yes.”

  “Then I probably shouldn’t.” He slanted his mouth over mine and pulled me to him.

  I parted my lips and he took full advantage, swirling his tongue inside. I slipped my hands inside his jacket and ran my nails down his back.

  He put a hand under my dress and gripped my ass, then patted around. “You said you were wearing panties,” he said against my lips.

  “No, I said I was a southern lady.”

  “You little tramp.” He kissed me again. His touch lit me on fire, my knees going weak until I had to break our kiss to take a breath.

  He pulled back and bit my lower lip.

  I giggled.

  “What?”

  “You’re wearing lipstick now.”

  “Well, hell, stop gawking and tell me if it’s a good color for me.”

  “It’s almost time.” Terrell sauntered down the hall toward us.

  I laughed and gave Kennedy another peck. “Perfect. Come on. I’ll get you cleaned up.” I shimmied past him and tried to pull him into the bride’s room.

  “No way. Not a chance.”

  “What?”

  “I’m not walking into the jaws of the beast. I’ll clean up back in groom central.”

  “Places, people,” Terrell chimed.

  “Okay. I’m going.” Kennedy stole one more kiss and hustled back the way he’d come.

  I dashed back into the bride’s room and freshened my makeup as Evan gave herself a pep talk full of more profanity than I’d ever heard in my life.

  Caroline came in right behind me and did some freshening up of her own, but her cheeks were plenty rosy and her skin had a certain glow.

  “You bitches ready?” Evan pulled herself up to her full height and strangled her bouquet in a death grip.

  “Yes.” Caroline and I exchanged smiles.

  “Good. Prance your asses out in front. I’m right behind you.”

  We left the room and made our way to the rear of the house. The wedding was outside, the weather perfect—sunny and warm with a light breeze. We stopped on the steps of the sunroom.

  “You’re going to be fine.” I walked around and smoothed her train out behind her.

  “I know. I do. So ready. He’s hot, smart, likes it when I break the rules, has a fascinating temper, makes me squeal. Yes. He’s the fucking one. I’m ready. Tell them.” She jerked her chin at Clinton, who waited just outside.

  He nodded, and within moments, the string quartet began playing.

  “Now or never. I got this. I’m the bad bitch. I. Got. This.” Evan took a deep breath as first Caroline then I walked out into the sunny morning, the chairs lined up in neat rows and filled with about fifty guests.

  The center aisle was strewn with yellow rose petals, but I couldn’t look at my feet. All I could see was Kennedy, a boyish grin on his face, as he watched me approach. He crossed his hands in front of him, then put them at his sides, then clasped them behind his back, as if suddenly unsure what to do with himself.

  I took my position next to Caroline. Glancing at Wash, I witnessed him giving her a look of admiration that made me smile, though it didn’t give me tingles the way Kennedy’s reverent gaze did. The song changed and everyone stood as Evan took the two steps down to the runner and held her head high as she walked slowly toward Lincoln.

  He stood tall and proud, his dark hair smooth and his suit perfect. His look of anticipation turned into a smile, and when his eyes misted, mine did, too. I turned back to Kennedy. He looked nowhere but at
me.

  When we first met, I didn’t intend to give him a second glance. But looking at him on that happy day, I realized I’d given him my heart, my soul, and my future.

  Evan walked past, her lace train flowing out behind her and collecting the yellow rose petals as she went. She took Lincoln’s arm. He smiled down at her and wiped away a tear.

  “That’s it, then. He’s the one.” Evan took a deep breath and turned to the pastor. “Fuck it. Let’s do this.”

  About the Author

  Christina Saunders is an Alabama girl who loves to tell stories that are always hot and sometimes dark. In addition to being an unrepentant book hoarder, she has a particular affinity for dirty jokes and foul mouths. She is a former attorney who spends all her free time with her husband and two sassy daughters. She also writes under the pen name Celia Aaron. You can sign up for email updates here.

  Also by Christina Saunders

  Hardass

  Bad Bitch

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  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Notice

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen